To China with love.

I had the opportunity to go to China for the 2nd time in my life. This trip was to Shanghai and a one day quick trip to a smaller city called Wuxi (woo-she). I got held up at customs...again. Somewhere in the world, someone with my exact name did something very bad. I swear I am on Interpol's most wanted list. Every time I travel ANYWHERE I get stopped. So there I sat for 10 minutes while two Chinese people speaking in Shanghainese (local dialect) and in a very animated fashion (spitting, arms flailing, loud voices) debated if I was the wicked Robert Johnson trying to get into their country. Finally they allowed me to pass. And by the way, if you go to China, pack a small suitcase. I brought my big one this time and my co-workers referred to it as the "big steamer" the whole trip. I carried it more than it rolled because aisles and walkways are about half the size they are here. Lesson learned. Big Steamer will not return to China.

Let me dive into the particulars of this trip:

Saturday - 14 hour flight to Shanghai. The flight attendant spilled HOT lobster onto the lap of the guy sitting next to me. It settled itself in a "no touch" area but she proceeded to reach down and pick up the lobster. I quickly made sure my napkin was on my lap.

Sunday - rode the bullet train at 200 mph into Shanghai and walked in the rain just over a mile to the hotel because Big Steamer was too big for a cab. My two co-workers wanted to ditch me. It was about 90 degrees and 120% humidity too. I'm actually thankful for this experience because normally we just get picked up in a car and head to the hotel. Although soaked I was able get a better view of Chinese life and see how these folks live. Street vendors, livestock on main roads, huge amounts of battery operated bicycles and even hookers. Big Steamer was too big for the sidewalk so I had to walk in the street, next to the gutter, with cars and bicycles by me.

Monday - meetings all day and then dinner that night. This dinner consisted of Kung Pao chicken with the BONE still in the chicken. No one told me...I choked. It also consisted of a nice helping of lung and kidney. Which I did eat. Interestingly enough the team there in China wanted to take us to Hooters. We vetoed that. Although I hear they have nice wings. After this dinner I quickly popped the Imodium AD to ensure I had no problems the rest of the trip. When traveling internationally, all I can say is bring Imodium AD. It will literally save your life.

I'd like to seguay here and discuss dining at a Chinese restaurant. This is a major event. One person will spend up to 20 minutes scrutinizing the menu and order for every one. He will talk with the waitress and go over every detail about how the food is prepared, what sauces, seasonings, etc. They use what we call a "lazy susan" where all the food is put in the middle and you use the chopsticks that you put in your mouth to get more food from the community bowl. When the food is good, the lazy susan is spinning constantly. Here is where you must suspend any feelings you have about double dipping. This is all double dipping. I recommend taking a large plate first and hoping you don't need or are offered seconds. And in China, you eat what they serve. It is considered rude to not eat their food. Dinner consists of a small cold appetizer, then a salad of some sort, followed by the hot foods, then a soup and finally a coffee or tea...herbal for me please.

Tueesday - meetings again all day but I skipped the group dinner. I ordered a cheeseburger from room service. Nothing like the Chinese interpretation of an American classic. It came with a bowl of rice and french fries. And don't forget the Coca Cola lite.

Wednesday - This was our trip to Wuxi. My company opened a plant there and we went to tour and what else...meetings. I played some serious ping pong though while there. I played against this little Chinese woman who just kicked my trash! That evening was yes, another dinner. But this time it was probably the best meal I've had in China. Kung Pao with no bones in the meat, and several other dishes including dumplings and yes, rice. Did I mention that I didn't see a fork or knife once? All chopsticks baby. But I did eat frog's legs. With the absence of a fork and my limited ability to manipulate the chopsticks appropriately, I had to take a big bit to avoid dropping it. To this day my son still gives me grief for eating a frog.

Downtown Wuxi.

Thursday - meetings again. But we had another great meal at Japanese restaurant. Great food but it was a night of Gambay's. Gambay is a Chinese tradition where someone challenges you to drink. If challenged, you must take it up. I am always the ONLY non alcohol drinker on these trips and when it was discovered I was only drinking my coca cola lites, I was challenged to 18 Gambay's over a 3 hour period. Funny thing was my cokes were charged by the glass but someone paid for endless alcohol. So my cokes ended up being more than the next guy's beer and wine all night. Go figure. I did try cow tongue at this meal though...gross.

Can you spot the other two americans here. and notice I have the ONLY coca cola lite on the table.

Friday - Wrap up meetings in the AM and then the flight home. Rode the bullet train back to the airport this time speed topping out at 265 mph. Very cool. Hung out in the executive lounge and then the 14 hour flight. The Chinese regulate what entertainment can be shown on flights...One option was the Sound of Music. Yes, I watched it.

Me with Big Steamer riding the bullet train.

Despite the fact that I never saw the sun once and it was SO humid and hot all week, I loved this trip. The Chinese in general are very friendly people with an amazing desire to prove themselves. I hope to go back again. This trip I was so busy i didn't get any personal time to sight see which I am bummed about. But I did come home with my advance copy of Kung Fu Panda...some dude had a tripod in the theater and taped it. It's blu ray though! It costs 5 Yuan or about 80 cents.

Tampa, Raleigh, Baltimore, Buffalo, Seneca Falls, Rochester, Home

Well my last trip was interesting. I actually had to travel two weeks in a row which was a bummer. The first week I won't blog about but it was to our corporate office in NY...again. The following week was to Tampa, well really St. Petersburg Florida to deliver a presentation to 150 supply chain professionals where the subject was "Influencing in a Matrix environment". I know, riveting stuff but believe it or not after 45 minutes I had 25 minutes of questions. I spent a wonderful evening there in a karaoke bar where I drank my virgin pina coladas all night and yes, did sing "Fat Bottomed Girls" by Queen. Everyone was dancing up until my song. Once they heard what it was EVERYONE literally sat down. The song was a bit reflective of the audience but I didn't pick it! I didn't sing again. I learned the more drunk those around you get the more fun karaoke is. The singing just got worse and worse and louder and louder but it made the whole experience so much better. One guy sang "Hit me baby one more time" by Brittney Spears. I think it was the highlight of the night.

From there I had the worst schedule. My travel agent booked me on a flight that connected through Raleigh then Baltimore. I never got off the plane at either stop though. After sitting on the plane for a total of 6 hours for what could have been a 3 hour direct flight I was exhausted. On the last leg of the flight, the guy sitting next to me literally brought in 3 newspapers and two magazines. I timed him and he literally did not look at one page for more than a minute at a time. He was flipping and flipping and flipping pages non stop and as I was beginning to suffer a bit of cabin fever I almost ripped everything out of his hands. Needless to say I remembered the guy who got thrown off the plane from my trip home from London and resisted.

My real stop was Buffalo NY. I had to deliver a different presentation to our IT leaders who incidentally don't karaoke and enjoyed talking about our active directory and messaging services...It was too technical for me. A great bunch of people but just a different atmosphere. But the highlight of that stop was I was able to go to Niagara Falls after work. I couldn't image what 75,000 gallons of water per second falling over the falls would look like until I saw it in person. And people still go over the edge in barrels from time to time just for kicks. It was raining, cold and the falls created a huge mist but we were given this $.99 clear poncho that saved the day. It kept nothing dry but I looked cool with it on. For some reason no one would pose for a group picture...

So after Buffalo, I drove almost 2 hours to Seneca Falls to work in an office we have there for a day. No speeches just long meetings talking about business, finance, strategy and HR stuff. Good times. From there I had to drive an hour to Rochester because that was the closest airport to get me home. My 6:00 a.m. flight went off without a hitch.

Next stop...NY (again) and then 3 weeks after that it's off to China.